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The Wedding Planning Update - September 2000

230 days till the arrival of BE (9/25/00)
China and Silver and Crystal, Oh My!
China and sliver and crystal, Oh my! That's right, A. and I took the big plunge with our new consumer counselor, Baila, at Creative Specialties. To be perfectly honest, the whole experience was a lot less painful than I anticipated. First off, Baila was really down to earth and had a good sense of humor. Second, she aided and abetted me in making fun of how silly the whole process is. That is to say, while there is a certain functional/ utilitarian aspect to the whole registering process, I constantly feel like we are preparing for a party we are never going to have. And why is it that I cannot, even once, recall making or aid in the making of a casserole, yet I feel a strong inner urge to register for multiple casserole dishes? What does this urge say about me and my perceived, yet unconscious, societally influenced gender role? Can a man still be a man and want to own not one, but multiple casserole dishes?

236 days till the arrival of BE (9/19/00)
Rant on Consumerism
This past weekend, A. and I began our first true effort at registering. While we didn't actually "register" for anything yet (put your credit cards down and step away from the register), we did examine the goods at the triumvirate of Bobo bridal-gift registry stores: Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel, and Williams-Sonoma.

First, based on our previous cookware education, it is clear that all cookware sold in these stores, save for the copper cookware, is inferior quality stainless steel junk.

Second, there is a disturbing trend in the use of what I call "peasantware." For example, at ye olde Pottery Barn one can purchase, for $49.95 + tax, a "traditional" wheat sifter. In the store said sifter was used as wine bucket. Of course, one may purchase some real wheat, thereby creating the need for a sifter.

Another fine example of peasantware from Pottery Barn is the Ceylon trunk . When I see this trunk, not only am I reminded of the happy colonial days of what is now Sri Lanka, but of the many charming things Sri Lanka has, such as yearly flooding, cholera, amebic dysentery, etc. What a spiritually fulfilling bamboo trunk.

Given my deep and thorough skepticism regarding the need for such decorative doodads, one might be left wondering what I would want on our registry. Let me put it this way, I have a deep and abiding respect for diversity. Therefore, I would like to open my kitchen to all utensils, regardless of their purpose, usefullness, or color. Bring me your spatulas, graters, and measuring cups. Send forth the choppers, tongs, and mustard spoons. And get me one of those things for a wet bar that has the spring wrapped around the bottom for shaking drinks. (Anyone know what that's about?)

Enough of my rambling...

242 days till the arrival of BE (9/13/00)
Swedish Movements
In dealing with the stress of the wedding, Andrea and I have been practicing in a variety of stretching and relaxation exercises more commonly known as "Swedish Movements".

Those crazy Swedes have a few other "stretching" techniques, but I'm not going to share those on this site...

243 days till the arrival of BE (9/12/00)
Pots and Pans and Shit
This past weekend saw the strangest wedding event to date. Andrea and I were "invited" to a hard-sell, lock you in a hotel suite, presentation of Royal Prestige 7 layer surgical steel coated with titanium Cookware for soon-to-be-weds. In return for our time we got free hotel accommodations at our choice of locations such as Vegas, Hawaii, etc. However, what we had to put up with was quite interesting. I'll make a list:

1. The presenter used the word "shit," and all possible permutations thereof, roughly twice a sentence for the duration of the 2.5 hour presentation.

2. In discussing why you should purchase his titanium cookware, he told the audience (all 8 of us) that aluminum is a cause of Alzheimer's disease and breast cancer, that Teflon, used under normal cooking conditions, causes illness, and potatoes have no protein All of these assertions are false (I looked them up!). Oops.

3. I was told that the purpose of his presentation was to "make me feel like a jerk if I left without buying anything."

In case you are wondering, we'll be using our time in Vegas right after the new year and we didn't buy any cookware.

250 days till the arrival of BE (9/5/00)
Waiting Women...
Happy September. This past weekend, some of the Andreaettes (i.e. the women in waiting) camped out in our living room to help conduct the three day symposium "Andrea's Wedding 2001: Fashion, Food, and Bric-a-brac." While day one consisted mostly of dinner and light conversation, much was accomplished. On day 2, Lisa, our now infamous co-chief woman in waiting, and Karen were able to pick out their wardrobe for BE. While I did not accompany the crew on its outing, I was involved heavily in the post shopping discussion topic "Large Women and Large Dresses, is it the Qualities of the Dress or the Quantity of the Fabric?" (You can send $4.99 for a transcript of the proceedings.) We followed up this heated conversation with a group viewing of the movie Boys Don't Cry. Day 3 consisted mostly of breakfast, but we did have some closing ceremonies and gave out "best of the convention" awards. I won the "best token male" award.

In addition, Andrea finalized the decision on what Bric-a-brac we will be giving to our wedding guests. I won't ruin the surprise, but I can give you a little clue.

Lastly, it has been decided that the fashion influence that will guide the mens' tuxedo choice will be Regis Philban. (I will not make any Millionaire references and that is my final answer, dammit!)

The wedding planning update is to Adam and Andrea's wedding what The National Enquirer is to news. While other sections of this site contain actual facts, this part is mostly opinion. Feel free to contact us if you find yourself on the cusp of action based on what you read here and are wondering what the hell I am talking about.

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