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The Wedding Planning Update - December 2000

138 days to BE (12/26/00)
Happy Birthday Jesus!
Well folks, it’s been way too long since the wedding site has had a decent update. I am embarrassed by my delinquency. The excuses I offer are the following: residency interviews, a final project for my not-so-rural medicine rotation, and alien abduction. That’s right, yours truly was snatched from the cozy comfort of his bed not but 3 weeks ago. However, I was able to talk the Aliens into letting me go. Apparently, they had one too many short curly haired (albeit disappearing) Jewish soon to be doctor specimens. Nevertheless, I may have been implanted with Alien Embryos. Of course, that bulging could be holiday over eating.

Even though the last few weeks have been quiet on the update front, I assure you I have plenty to talk about. First off, I need to pass on a few reviews I’ve received about the site.

“I think you have the best wedding site ever! I can't begin to tell you how many times I've laughed so hard to the point of tears.”
-JA from New York

“Why do you have so many damn links? Looks like your entire text is underlined!”
-KG Columbia, MD

We encourage user feedback and, based on the current crop of comments (n=2) will attempt to make more people laugh with less links. That’s the sort of responsiveness we like to be known for here at In fact, we are introducing our new mission statement/slogan now: strives to be the single best website for up-to-date information on the wedding of Andrea and Adam. In addition we really, really, really work hard to make sure Adam gets to say whatever he wants. So there.
Now that’s a mission statement.

Christmas morning activities are just concluding at the casa de la mama du Andrea. With Andrea’s mama’s support we reached all new levels in Christmas giving this year. For instance, I was given four books, including The Encyclopedia of the Ephemera. Andrea was given 16 outfits, 72 little porcelain dolls, and 4,652 items related to getting married. We started the morning with Craig’s traditional videotaped welcome message from all of us. Having partaken in this activity in past years, I prepared a few remarks for the camera this year. They went something like this:

“My fellow Americans; This is such a special time of year. In fact, around this time I am often reminded of warm fuzzy things like roasting chestnuts, little poodles, and Andrea (not necessarily in that order). However, when I gaze over the sea of floor to ceiling presents only one thought enters my mind: Happy Birthday Jesus!”

Then in a torrent of ripping paper and flying bows we all opened 476 presents in a little under two and half minutes. The next 3.5 hours were spent cleaning up and recovering from injuries sustained from removing tape accidentally stuck to “precarious” parts of our bodies.

A. and I have also been filling out the paper work for our Honeymoon, biking through Provance. Apparently we have chosen an adventure vacation, which means we are heavy with waivers. Specifically, we have to sign paperwork saying that we do not hold the travel company responsible for injury, death, bad weather, change of political affiliation, or change in opinion for the French or the lazy-ass four day work week. However, the company does claim responsibility for getting us maps, contacts, brightly colored French country houses and brie.

156 days to BE (12/08/00)
We We Made Made Mahi Mahi
It is traditional, I have read, that exactly 157 days prior to a wedding falling in May and being held on the twelfth floor of a former hotel in Baltimore the blessed couple is supposed to have the relationship solidifying meal of sweet and sour mahi mahi. Since A. and I did not wish to shirk from our pre-union epicurean responsibility, we engaged in the traditional preparation and consumption of the aforementioned fish on Wednesday of this week.

Speaking of relationship solidifying meals, A. got the gold medal for rehearsal dinner research this week when she found The Elm as our latest potential rehearsal dinner location. Though the building is a former stable, there was no smell of horses nor any sign of poop. In fact, the building is now an artist studio/studio apartment with gardens and two British racing cars in the studio. Unique and hip without the flashing lights, house back-beat, or ecstasy (at least not the kind you have to ingest) of the other rehersal dinner rave spots we've found.

In other exciting news, A. and I have begun our final decent into plans for our honeymoon. The theme we have chosen is pedal through Europe. That's right, we are going to bike through the Provance, France for 8 or 9 days in May while we stay in adorable hotels all along the way. Aside from being a nauseatingly romantic get-a-way, I suspect this will be a good experience for my budding photographic hobby. And, maybe we'll get some good cardiovascular exercise on our honeymoon.

Lastly, this week also found A. and I in our local greeting card and calligraphy shoppe looking through endless 7-foot high albums of wedding invitations. While we were leaning towards freshly clubbed baby seal skin parchment with veal blood ink made by under-paid native Eskimos, you'll have to wait and see our more politically correct invitation. Just remember we expect security to be tight at our wedding so bring your little admission cards.

So, faithful readers, as this week, like a hairline, recedes into memory, know that BE is on course and blosseming like a scalp with Propecia. We have just 158 days to go.

161 days to BE (12/03/00)
If one were to take literally the last few months of wedding updates, one might note a somewhat random and haphazard way in which I am covering the planning of BE. So, be warned fair readers, we are far more organized than we appear. Really. I mean it.

So, what happened in the world of BE this week? I will work in reverse chronological order. Today Andrea gave in and bought another copy of Bride's magazine. No fooling, about 16 giant redwoods from Northern California (or as I affectionately call them sequoiadendrons) died to make just the advertising pages for this 7-inch thick, 4,634 pound magazine. Accompanying this fine publication was a special cyber-wedding insert (comprising only 25 or so pages of dead tree) which covered a number online wedding services and tools. Included in the myriad of e-bliss was a section on various couples wedding sites. I will assume that there were either negligent or poor researchers since the rantings of this soon to be groom were not included in their list. If you are as outraged by this oversight as I am, E-mail the editors of Bride magazine.

Earlier in the week we faxed our Ketubah hebrew name form to Rabbi Steve for his translation and approval. Unfortunately, A.'s middle hebrew name is still missing in action. If you see her hebrew wandering the streets of Baltimore let me know.

Lastly, in the spirit of smell-o-vision A. and I began preliminary talks (with our usual United Nations mediator) on what our wedding should smell like. The way we figure it, since olfaction is the strongest evocator of memory we want to make sure we and our guests have something to bring back the fun of BE. As such, we started by listing our criteria for a good smell: sweet and airy, unique but something that could be sprayed on invitations or mementos. As a result we found one smell that would do: Taco flavoring. Just kidding. Actually, we may scale back our idealistic goal to a simple perfume or cologne. As usual, I am open to suggestions.

The wedding planning update is to Adam and Andrea's wedding what The National Enquirer is to news. While other sections of this site contain actual facts, this part is mostly opinion. Feel free to contact us if you find yourself on the cusp of action based on what you read here and are wondering what the hell I am talking about.

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Wedding Update Articles
JulyAugSeptOctNovDecJanFebMarchAprilMayPost Wedding Round-Up